


Fear

by Croatoanvirus2014



Category: Fear the Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-24
Updated: 2015-08-24
Packaged: 2018-04-16 23:10:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4643514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Croatoanvirus2014/pseuds/Croatoanvirus2014
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"He loved Cal, he really did. He was also certain he was in love with him, but figured that now was not the time to bring that up. "<br/>AU where Cal doesn't pull a gun on Nick, and both of them love each other, though it still doesn't mean it ends happily.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fear

**Author's Note:**

> so uh i watched the pilot episode and i'm at least 300% sure these two were in love with each other and i rewrote how cal died (it's not a spoiler okay like i put major character death for the warnings)

            Nick was a mess. He knew it, Alicia knew it, Cal knew it, and practically everybody knew it. He knew he screwed up a lot of the time, but he knew that he didn’t screw up when he had become friends with Cal. Admittedly, having your drug dealer being one of your best friends was well, messed up, but they just got along together, so why not be his friend? Besides, it wasn’t like he had a lot of other people he could talk to.

            He swore up and down that what he had seen in that church was real. Yes, he had been doing drugs, but he knew they couldn’t screw up his perception that much. He still remembered every vivid detail of that morning: the almost orange light that shone through the church windows, the eerie silence of the morning, every step he took down the stairs, but most of all the blood. It was too red, and there was too much, and some of it was coming from Gloria’s mouth. Nick wished he could just block that scene out of his memory forever. Still, all that filled his mind was the dead, or undead (he wasn’t sure exactly what she was now), body of Gloria, and blood. He had to talk to somebody about it, to try getting it out of his mind; that much he knew. So, as usual, his first thought was _Cal._

            Nick collapsed in Cal’s arms, letting himself sob after telling him what he had seen. He tried looking for any other explanations, even asked Cal if the drugs were different than usual (they weren’t, obviously), but there were none. So he just sat there, in a booth at some restaurant, crying, head pressed against Cal’s chest. He loved Cal, he really did. He was also certain he was in love with him, but figured that now was not the time to bring that up.

            “I’m just so scared, you know?” Nick said when he stopped crying for a few seconds.

            “It’s alright, Nicki,” Cal responded, holding him tighter.

            They stayed like that for a while, though every few minutes Nick took another sip of water, trying to calm himself down. Cal helped greatly with this. He kept reassuring him everything was going to be okay, and that he was safe with him.

            They rode around in Cal’s car for a while, and when they stopped, Nick knew something was up. The air around them grew tense, and he couldn’t tell if Cal was going to kiss him or kill him, though he hoped it was the former in all honesty.

            “Go to sleep, you’re safe with me here.”

            Of course, Nick couldn’t get to sleep. He’d been having problems with sleeping ever since what he saw in the church, and though Cal made him feel comfortable, it still wasn’t enough. _Maybe I should just tell him._ _I mean, I’ve got nothing left to lose at this point. Then again, I could still lose him,_ and that was the one thing Nick feared most. Still, with what he had been seeing the last few days, he grew more and more worried by the second that either he or Cal was going to die, and didn’t want to die without telling him. He looked over at Cal, and couldn’t help but notice how his small smile seemed to light up the world, and how his eyes turned golden when the sun hit him at the right angle. He didn’t tell him, and ended up falling asleep in the backseat of his car, relaxed as he could possibly be, considering the circumstances.

            _Something is wrong,_ was the first thought that came to his mind when he woke up. Nick got out of the car slowly, and looked around for Cal. He was gone. _It’s okay, Nick. Maybe he just went to go look for food for breakfast, or just took a walk and forgot to tell me._ As his mind raced, Nick got back in the car and lied down, trying not to panic. He was on his own, which usually wouldn’t be too bad, but he couldn’t find Cal, and that _was_ bad.

            He found him in the worst way possible. He was taking a walk, trying to look for him, when he heard a scream. He ran towards it, Cal’s gun in his hand, terrified but hoping to find Cal, and that was who he found, along with another dead body.

            “Cal, are you okay?” Nick asked, hands trembling as he tried to help him sit up.

            “I think,” He replied, feeling dizzy and wanting to vomit. He had killed something. Something that looked like a person, but so clearly wasn’t.

            Nick’s eyes widened in terror. Cal had gotten bitten on one of his legs, and seemed to be losing a lot of blood. _He’s going to die,_ he realized. At that moment he decided to tell him.

            “Hey, Cal, I love you, okay? Like, I’m in love with you and I just wanted you to know that,” Nick confessed, the words tumbling out of his mouth before he could even try to stop himself.

            “Hey, Nicki, I love you too,” Cal said in a faint voice, clearly on the verge of death. Nick gave him a quick kiss on the lips, wishing he could savor the moment longer. He gave him a small smile, wanting that to be the last thing he would ever remember, before pulling the trigger of his gun, putting him out of his misery. Nick broke down, sobbing hysterically. He was a complete mess.


End file.
